Notscha stepped up and cried out in a loud voice, "You wretched ape! I am Prince Notscha and I have been commanded by the Lord of the Heavens himself to take you as prisoner! You will stand no chance against me."
Sun Wu Kung couldn't help but giggle a little bit as he looked the prince up and down. He couldn't have been more than sixteen years old, but he showed resolve that not many people could muster in the face of battle. He could see the fierceness in the young warrior's eyes; they were unrelenting.
"Time to get serious," Sun Wu Kung thought to himself.
Before he could even ready himself, Notscha was upon him, swinging his sword with a force that would've taken off Sun's head had he not ducked in the nick of time. Sun Wu countered with his own sword, swinging it up and to the left. Blow after blow after blow, both fighters could not get the best of each other. The whole world could sense the fight going on. Each time their swords clashed, the ground trembled and quaked. Every time that Notscha thought he was gaining an upper hand, Sun Wu would lash back with even more finesse and power than expected.
Sun Wu was slightly impressed. He had a feeling this kid could put up a fight, but he wasn't expecting this.
"I need to end this soon before I get tired and sloppy," thought Sun Wu as he danced around Notscha trying to buy a little more time so he could figure out his next move.
Sun Wu glanced around, looking for anything that would give him an edge against this kid. A few feet away, he saw something glistening in the light. It was a sharp rock! One that could easily end this fight. All he had to do was get to it without alerting Notscha.
At the same time, Notscha was getting overwhelmed. He could not keep this up much longer even if he wanted to. He could feel his legs burning from darting around trying to avoid Sun Wu's quick moves. Ever so slowly, momentum was shifting towards Sun Wu.
"What do I do now? Do I give up? Do I surrender? I can't keep up no matter what I do," thought Notscha.
Doubt was clouding Notscha's mind, so much so that he was beginning to lose focus. Fatigue and inattention was a recipe for death, and Notscha knew it. He took a quick moment to shake his head to rid the negative thoughts from his head. In that split moment, Sun Wu took his chance. He dived to the ground and scooped up the stone with his free hand, all in one motion. He turned towards Notscha, and with all his might, drove the stone clean through his shoulder. Blood spattered everywhere!
Sun Wu Kung spoke fiercely, "Take this as a warning and never come back again to find me. I shall let you live this once. Next time you feel the urge to come after me, think of this pain and you will no longer desire to cross paths with me. I am the Great Saint Who Is Heaven's Equal and I will not be defeated".
And with that, Sun Wu Kung was free to live peacefully and reign over his mountain.
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| Sun Wu Kung at a Beijing opera; Wikimedia |
I chose to take the story of the immortal Monkey King, Sun Wu Kung, and elaborate on the epic fight between Notscha and Sun Wu Kung. In the original story, Sun Wu feels disrespected after he is given a job as stable master in heaven. After hearing that it is a worthless job, Sun Wu becomes infuriated and flees heaven to go back to the mountain over which he reigns. The Lord of the Heavens sends warriors to catch him as prisoner, but Sun Wu has other ideas. An intense battle between Prince Notscha, the prince of heaven, and Sun Wu ensues. I didn't stray from the original plot of the story, but I did add my own twist to the fight between the two characters. I added dialogue in order to capture the words exchanged during the fight and I also tried to highlight each character's thoughts as the fight was occurring. I also wanted to depict Notscha as inferior to Sun Wu when it came to battle. However, I also wanted to portray him as an up and coming warrior who never backed down from a fight. My intention was to glorify the battle in order to highlight its importance because I thought it was brief and rushed in the original story.
Bibliography
The Monkey King Sun Wu Kung taken from Wilhelm's Chinese Fairy Book.
Bibliography
The Monkey King Sun Wu Kung taken from Wilhelm's Chinese Fairy Book.
Parth,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your story. This is a story I am not very familiar with, so I felt that your author's note was very helpful and insightful. I like that you were able to add on to the story to give it dialogue. I think that is a weakness of mine, and you did a great job conveying more emotion from the story. You also used a lot of great description to where I felt as if I was at the scene of the story. Very well written and organized as well!
Hey Parth, I think you did awesome on this story. This is a story that I had no knowledge on because I read different things when going through so when I read it, I had no idea what the original was like but your author’s note cleared some things up for me. I think the changes you made gave the story a nice twist. Great story!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story, Parth! My favorite part would have to be how you described the intense moment that Sun Wu took to throw the stone. It almost reminded me of a “fight or flight” concept. It was a good incorporation to give your readers a feel for the battle. What if you added in a prize to represent being able to live peacefully and reign over the mountain? The stone could symbolism winning if you wanted. I was also wondering where their battle skills came from? Did they have a guru of some sort? You could possibly add something like that for some background information. I enjoyed being able to envision the scene-taking place. You did a great job in letting your readers in on what the characters were feeling in the story. One of my other favorite parts was the dramatic vocabulary you used like “snapped out” and “infuriating.” Great work!
ReplyDeleteYou did a nice job writing this story. I like the dialogue, as it helped me to understand the characters, or the Gods, better. I might suggest in your opening paragraph, to set the scene to help draw the reader in. I felt a little lost, especially about the childish ape. Also, when including so many different characters in one spot at the beginning, it is hard to follow. I enjoyed the extremely detailed action verbs you used. It helped me visualize what was going on. There's also a nice dynamic between the two characters, Sun Wu Kung and Notsha. My favorite line from the entire story was Each time their swords clashed, the ground trembled and quaked."
ReplyDeleteOne last note: The background on your blog is really cool, but it makes it quite difficult to focus and read your stories. Just a thought.
I really enjoyed your story this week!
Hey Parth, that was a really fun and entertaining story to read! The dialogue was really helpful in understanding more the characters of the story. I enjoyed your details in explaining the action going on it reminded me of old Kung fun movies (Bruce Lee style) where the fighters had superpowers and would fly etc.. I feel like you could've added a bit more of a twist from the original story by maybe continuing if he ever got revenge back or not. Overall great story and read!
ReplyDelete