Noah rushed off to see how the finishing touches to the cabin were coming along. Along the way, he ran into his sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth, who were ushering the last of the eligible animals inside. How did they know who to let inside? Well, God had given them explicit instructions for that as well. They were to round up two of each animal, male and female, in order to preserve the species. The animals who came up to the entrance and took a bow were allowed to enter, as they were deemed respectful, while the rest were denied entry for not living up to God's expectations. At this time, the wind picked up and became incredibly sharp. The snow began to sting as it pounded against Noah's face. Noah told his sons to speed this process up as they were beginning to run out of time. In a short amount of time, it would be impossible to see due to the wind and snow flying around. Anyone left outside would inevitably freeze to death, a miserable death if you ask me.
As Noah began to walk around to the back of the shelter, his wife ran up to him yelling that shelter was finally finished and everything was ready to go. Noah breathed a sigh of relief. He had been worried this whole time that they would not finish in time. Could you blame him though? All their lives depended on him finishing the shelter on time, and God had trusted him with this monumental task. Just in time as well, because the snow was now falling in sheets and it was becoming hard to walk and see. The snow was piling up quickly and the temperatures dropping just as fast. It wouldn't be long till everything was a barren and desolate world of snow. Noah and his wife met up with their sons and the rest of the family and ushered the final stragglers inside. All the animals had made it safely. Noah took a deep breath and one last look at the world as he knew it. In seven days, God said the snow would stop. However, it would take 150 days for all the snow to melt and for the trees and plants to begin growing back. They had a long "winter" ahead of them. Noah closed his eyes and prayed that they had enough food and that all of them made it through this "cleaning" of the world. Even though he had followed God's instructions exactly, he couldn't help but worry. Noah opened his eyes and closed the large shelter doors as gusts of wind pelted them with snow. The snow raged on throughout the night as the Noah and his family and the animals could do nothing but wait.
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| Barren aftermath of the blizzard; Pixabay |
I
chose to write a different, more modern version of the story of Noah and the
Ark. In the original story, God is fed up with man and his wicked ways so he
decides to flood the world to flush out the bad. He instructs Noah, a good
man, to build an ark that will fit his family and two of each of all the
animals in the world. This ark must be strong enough to withstand violent waves
and lots of water for over a hundred days. In my story, I changed the flooding
to a blizzard that freezes everything and leaves a barren wasteland. I thought
the idea of another ice age would be an extremely harsh way to punish man,
which is what led to me write this story. Instead of an ark, Noah is instructed
to build a cabin shelter that keeps out the cold snow. I didn't go into much
detail on the blizzard, but mainly focused on Noah and his thoughts and actions
immediately before it begins. All the characters were similar, as well as the
rules that God had given Noah. The only difference was the method in which God
decides to end all life.
Bibliography
Noah and the Ark (Genesis) by Louis Ginzberg
God must've had a damn good reason if he had to resort to freezing the Earth over for life to start over. I couldn't help but wonder what God's expectations were for life before the blizzard and why he chose this path. I also couldn't help but wonder what the rest of Noah's family was thinking at a time like this, since the focus is mostly on Noah.
ReplyDeleteYou gave a powerful last note with an ambiguous ending that left the fate of Noah and his family uncertain. I could also feel the temperature drop metaphorically through your description of the blizzard.
If you wanted to convey the actions and thoughts of Noah and his family, I would suggest writing dialogue into the story, as well as touching up some dialogue that suggests an omniscient narrator (e.g. "a miserable death, if you ask me"). I think it would make the characters more intimate in their actions and thoughts. Some touch up on paragraph structure to make the story easier to read could help too.
I really liked your telling of this story. I'm not sure if it was your intention, but it gave it a more modern feel. Building the cabin instead of an ark at least. I also loved that you chose a blizzard instead of a flood. It gave the story more jeopardy. Don’t get me wrong a flood is still scary, but for some reason the cold scares me more than a body of water. Really nice work!
ReplyDeleteI liked the tone you had in the story and you did a good job of explaining why everything was happening. I liked how you explained the process of how the animals were chosen. The flow/wording could be better towards the end. It feel rushed like you are trying to get everything out quickly. I do love the change up with the blizzard, I feel like it shows more anger than a flood would. Overall great Story!
ReplyDeleteParth,
ReplyDeleteI think that this idea is so creative and really cool. I’d never thought to reimagine the story of Noah’s ark as a blizzard, so that was very surprising and innovative. Especially considering the story is so well known and ubiquitous, it’s easy to play off of the original without a real reference. I think you did a good job setting the scene, but I always think a story could benefit from some good specific details like what someone is wearing or what the wood on the cabin looks like, etc. I think that some details like that could really take your story to the next level. I did really like the way that you used the photo to draw a visual reference to a cabin in the blizzard, good job! I think this idea could be expanded to reimagining more biblical tales in the artic or something of that sort so great start! Thanks for sharing!
Mackenzie
This was a really cool take on Noah's story! I think it was super creative to make the flood a blizzard and the ark a cabin. Your descriptions about the blizzard were good too, making it seem so hopeless for the world outside the cabin. Your picture was a very good image to include as well to help describe the blizzard.
ReplyDeleteHi Parth. This was a great read. The ending made me sad, but I guess not every story has a happy ending. I could easily picture the cabin being built, and the snow piling on with your word usage. I truly enjoyed your story, and your twist from the original. I like that you wrote about Noah’s thoughts in your post, as well.
ReplyDeleteHi Parth! I really enjoyed reading your version of Noah and the Ark. I thought it was very easy to read and understand, and was directly related to the events in the actual story. I think you had a very interesting approach of keeping the idea of the original story, but changing it to and ice storm instead of water. I think readers can easily correlate the story to the original one, but it is very interesting to read it in another setting. I think you did a great job of using vivid imagery and detail throughout the story. I also liked the idea of building a cabin, because just like the ark, it was meant to keep everyone safe from the circumstances around.
ReplyDeleteHey Parth! Great retelling of the original story! I think changing it to an ice storm like another ice age was a great alternative to the original. It’s different, but readers can still relate the two. You used great details in this story. I have to agree with what Collin said above about adding a little dialogue with Noah and his family. I think that would give a little more realness to the story. Maybe if you added just a little bit in the beginning when the family first found out about having to build this shelter and just show a little of what you think they family’s reaction would be. After that, you could just keep the story the same because they have come to terms with it, and accepted the challenge. Other than that, I think you did a great job making this story your own. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteHi Parth!
ReplyDeleteI think you did a great job retelling the original story! I think that the change from the flood to the ice storm was a wonderful idea. It allowed for the story to be a bit different without completely changing the story that we all know and have heard all of our lives. I agree with Collin and Melanie that it would be nice to have some dialogue between Noah and his family. It could also help us better understand the character, despite what we already know, and allow for us to be able to get some insight. Other than that, I think you did a great job! I really enjoyed reading your story and I cannot wait to read stories from you in the future! Good luck for the rest of the semester!
Parth, your decision to retell this story in this different way was really creative! I think it's cool how you sort of inputted the opposite method into your story. It was also neat how you used such a familiar story. With a lot of people's portfolios, I am unaware of the original material, but I have been introduced to the story of Noah and the Ark.
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion would be to add a little dialogue into the story. Whether it is between God and Noah, or Noah and his family, I think it would add to the story. Maybe with his tasks he needed to complete, given to him by God? I think it would just help lay more of a groundwork for the story from the get go. I wonder how Noah will be able to keep all of the food from spoiling over the 150 days? I guess he does live in a freezer essentially haha!
Parth, I read your week 3 story: The Blizzard that was included in your project portfolio. I remember always hearing the story of Noah and his ark and I believe that changing the rain into a blizzard was definitely an interesting change that I never thought of before. It seems like it would be much worse to face snow that long instead of rain because not is everything also wet/damp but also freezing. This story definitely had more of a modern feel to it and I really did enjoy reading it through the end. I like how you changed the ark to a cabin to adapt to the climate that Noah would be facing. The only thing that I would recommend to the story is maybe adding a few more pictures to help create imagery since you did not really explain the blizzard much. Another thing would be that the background chosen for your website makes reading the white text a little bit difficult. Good job overall!
ReplyDeleteWow, I love the way you interpreted this story! I liked in particular how you chose to keep pretty much all of the plot points the same, like the characters and God telling Noah what he wants him to do. I thought it was very creative how you chose to use a blizzard instead of a flood, because it still utilizes water and a weather phenomenon but in a different way. I also agree with some of the other comments that adding in a bit of dialogue could really help add some life into the story, and it could also help add some insight into how the characters were feeling and what they were thinking. It doesn’t have to be a lot of dialogue, just a few lines in the story would go a long way. Plus, it will add some length. Overall, good job! I’m really impressed with your interpretation.
ReplyDelete"And God promised never again to destroy the Earth by flood." This is a really awesome story for your portfolio. In the original story, God gave the world a Rainbow to signify this promise to the people. You could come up with a modern day symbol of this promise. This story could represent how God does destroy the Earth in the future... He never said that a huge blizzard wouldn't come, although I do imagine that it would probably come by fire in my mind. This is a great story with lots of imagination. I think it could be even better with more detail. How long are these people stuck in a cabin with these animals? What kind of pandemonium would ensue? If the animals are stuck there and they eat other animals, do they know not to eat those in the cabin? And can the animals be let out occasionally for hunting? It might be too dangerous.
ReplyDelete